


Coming Home

by AelinElentiya



Series: The 100 [3]
Category: The 100 (TV)
Genre: F/M, Post Season 2 Finale, Spoilers
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-12-11
Updated: 2015-12-11
Packaged: 2018-05-06 02:32:36
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,239
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5399549
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AelinElentiya/pseuds/AelinElentiya
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>**Set After Season 2 Finale** </p><p>Clarke has been on her own for six months since the events of Mount Weather. There’s an aching, empty feeling in her chest that won’t go away. She realizes that she wants to go home, but she quickly discovers that home is not a place, it’s a person.<br/>So Clarke returns to Camp Jaha, because that’s where Bellamy is, and home is wherever he is.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Coming Home

**Author's Note:**

> This contains spoilers for season 2. I’m really proud of this, because it’s the first Bellarke fic I ever wrote. It is split into four “sections”, each beginning with a different word.  
> Let me know what you think!! :)

Together 

 

If Clarke was being completely honest with herself, she was amazed that she and Bellamy fit together as well as they did. That two people who were so different had become co-leaders who didn’t need to speak to the other to know what the other was planning.  
The word love didn’t fit to describe the way she felt about Bellamy Blake. It was so different from the kind of love she’d seen—from Raven and Wick’s teasing but gentle and sweet relationship, to Octavia and Lincoln’s passionate one. There was no one word to describe how she felt about Bellamy. The way she felt about him... it was like nothing she could describe in words. Her heart lit up in flames whenever she looked at him, or thought about him. When he called her “Princess”, especially in that soft tone of his, she felt like she was melting.  
When she’d left Camp Jaha six months ago, all she’d thought about was Bellamy. Every day, every minute that she was awake and not trying to avoid the Grounders, she thought about him. Most of all, out of all the others she’d left behind, Bellamy was the one she missed the most. The only one she was willing to go back for. Without him, she was a shell. Empty and lost. There was no purpose, no drive, no reason for her to get up every morning. Without him, Clarke had no home. Because, in all honesty, Bellamy had become her home. She felt safe with him, felt comforted when he was around. His presence made her happy. Home was where you were supposed to be safe and happy, right? But maybe home wasn’t a place, Clarke thought. Maybe home was the people you loved.  
Six months ago, she’d left Camp Jaha because she needed time to heal, to forgive herself for what she had done in Mount Weather—what they had done. She wandered through the woods without really thinking about where she was going. Whenever her feet would start to lead her back, automatically, to the dropship, Clarke made herself stop and turn the other direction, because that was not her home. That was not where she belonged.  
After a few months of this, wandering and surviving on nothing but the edible plants she found and the animals she cooked over fires, Clarke started to realize that waking up didn’t hurt anymore. That the guilt wasn’t crushing against her when she breathed anymore. That she was lonely, and the wilderness, as beautiful as it was, was starting to bore her. She was sick of setting up camp in different places every other night, sick of talking out loud to herself when she got bored of the silence. She was tired of being a wanderer. But it took her longer to realize where home was.  
She did eventually go back to the dropship. She spent a few hours there, and eventually she had buried all the bodies (that she could find anyway), and talked to Wells grave for a while, trying to figure out her next move. It was while she was trying to decide that she realized where she wanted to be—really wanted to be. The only place that made sense to her was wherever Bellamy was. And that meant going back to Camp Jaha and facing the consequences of what had happened in Mount Weather. Would the others shun her, hating her for the decision she had made? Would they welcome her back but treat her like she was a prisoner again?  
She didn’t know. She had no idea what would happen when she returned. But she made the decision. She decided that she didn’t care what everyone else thought of her. If facing what she’d done meant returning to Bellamy, her home, then she would face it. They would face it. Together.  
Returning 

 

Camp Jaha had changed in six months. Clarke was both surprised and not. They had built houses—more like small shacks, really—around the surrounding areas of the Ark, and a huge garden was blooming in a small area to the left of the Ark. She saw familiar faces. Octavia. Lincoln. Marcus Kane. Monty. Harper.  
She almost turned back, seeing Monty and Harper. But she didn’t. She had made her decision, and she was not running away again.  
So she approached the gates. The guards immediately aimed their guns at her. “Who are you?” One of them demanded. “What do you want?”  
She must look like a Grounder, she thought dimly. She hadn’t really realized it, but the months in the wilderness had transformed her; she was no longer the Princess that Bellamy had once thought she was.  
“I’m Clarke Griffin,” she said slowly. “And I’m here... to come home.” Her voice broke on the last word.  
The guards lowered their weapons and the gates opened. People were staring, but she didn’t care. She scanned the crowd, but she didn’t spot Bellamy or her mother anywhere. “Good to have you back, Clarke,” one of the guards said. “Your Mom will be happy to see you. Do you want to see her?”  
She didn’t really want to see her Mom. The reunion with Abby wasn’t one she was looking forward to. But she nodded anyway. “I’ll take you to her,” the guard said. She finally recognized him with a jolt—he was Miller’s Dad.  
He led her towards the Ark, where her mother was probably working in medical. They passed Octavia and Lincoln on the way in, and Octavia’s mouth dropped open and Lincoln didn’t look surprised. Like he’d been expecting she would come back soon. He nodded at her as Miller’s father led her into the Ark.  
They went straight to medical, and no one stopped him. The medical room was patient-less, but her Mom was talking to someone. It was Raven, she realized with a jolt.  
“Clarke?” Raven asked, and the expression she had was one of someone who thought she might be hallucinating. “Oh my God. Y-you’re back?”  
To her shock, Raven suddenly enveloped her in a hug. Clarke didn’t know how to respond. She hadn’t been touched by another person in six months. But she awkwardly hugged Raven back, and when she pulled away, she saw with surprise that there were tears in Raven’s eyes. “Uh, hi,” she said lamely. “It’s nice to see you, too.”  
Raven laughed, but it was almost a broken laugh. “I can’t believe you’re back. I told Bellamy. I told him you wouldn’t be able to stay away forever. He’s going to be so happy when I tell him—” Raven stopped, seeing the look on her face. “But you don’t want me to, do you?”  
“I’d rather tell him myself,” she said honestly.  
Abby finally remembered that she had a voice (she’d been staring, openmouthed, at Clarke for the last few minutes). She coughed a little. “Raven, would you mind giving me a minute with Clarke, please?” She said the words carefully.  
Raven nodded, grinned at Clarke and then left the room, closing the door behind her.  
“How’s her leg doing?” Clarke asked, trying to avoid the subject of why she had left for a while longer.  
“Better,” her Mom responded. “She still needs antibiotics. And of course, after what they did in... Well, everyone’s taken some time to heal.”  
“And the others?” She asked. “Jasper?” She wondered if he still hated her for killing Maya. Probably.  
“The others are all fine. They’ve all been given jobs and houses,” her Mom said. “I’m sure you saw the houses when you came in. And Jasper... Well, he’s healing. It will take time, but he’s getting there. He won’t speak to the others, though. Especially Bellamy.”  
Bellamy. She wanted to ask how he was doing so badly, but she stopped herself. Not yet, she thought. Get this out of the way first. Besides, she wanted to see how he was doing for herself. “What about you? How are you doing?” She asked.  
Abby sighed. “I’m alright,” she said. “I was mostly worried about you. You scared me half to death when you took off like that, without saying goodbye. I understand why you had to now, but I was worried. I tried to send Lincoln after you, but he refused to go. Said something about you needing time to heal.”  
“I did. Need time, I mean,” Clarke said. “I’m not sorry for leaving. I didn't say goodbye because I knew you would try to stop me.”  
“Probably,” Abby admitted. “Clarke... You look so different. So mature now. Even your skin is darker.”  
“That’s because I spent six months outside,” she said.  
Abby almost cracked a smile. Almost. “Where did you go?” She asked. “Some Grounder scouts have come by every couple weeks to get medicine from us, and we asked if they had seen you. But no one had. We thought you were dead.”  
“I didn’t really go anywhere,” Clarke said. “I just... Wandered, I guess. I tried to avoid the grounders. I ended up at the dropship a couple weeks ago. Buried the remains I found, and that’s when I decided to come back.”  
“You came back for him, didn’t you?” Abby asked softly.  
Clarke stared at her. How had she known? “I knew you would. I’m not sure you know this, maybe you haven’t realized it yourself, but you’re in love with that boy, Clarke. I knew if there was any reason for you to come back, it would be for him,” she said.  
Clarke took a deep breath. “He’s home,” she said honestly. “It’s hard to explain the way I feel, Mom.”  
Abby smiled. It was almost a sad sort of smile, but there was joy in her eyes. “I’m glad you came back, Clarke. No matter what the reason is,” she said. “I missed you.”  
Her mother hugged her then. Her arms wrapped around her tightly, like she didn’t ever want to let her go again. Clarke closed her eyes, blinking back the tears. She had missed her Mom, she realized. Maybe not as much as she’d missed the others and Bellamy, but she’d missed her Mom. Her Mom had always been a constant presence in her life, no matter what was happening. Even when she’d been sent to Earth, her Mom had been there.  
“I missed you, too,” Clarke whispered.  
Abby pulled away at last, smiling through her tears. “If there’s one piece of advice I can give you, Clarke, it’s that you shouldn’t waste anytime,” she said. “Whatever you want, whoever you want, don’t wait to go after it. If Bellamy Blake makes you happy, then go after him. Life is too precious to be wasted.”  
Clarke smiled a little. “I thought you wouldn’t approve,” she told her Mom. “Because, you know, he is technically considered a criminal.”  
Abby laughed, and Clarke laughed, too. It felt good to laugh. She couldn’t remember the last time she had. “Technically, so are you,” Abby said. “And in many, many ways, so am I. But I’ve gotten to know him in the last six months, and I think he’s good for you. To be honest, you’re good for each other. I don’t know how your relationship was before you left, but I can say that he’s not the same person I met almost a year ago. He’s... Well, you’ll see for yourself. But I approve, Clarke. I approve of what makes you happy. Because after the Hell you’ve gone through, you deserve that. More than anyone you both deserve to be happy.”  
“You really think that,” Clarke said, and it wasn’t a question. “You really think I can be forgiven for the things I did.”  
“We’ve all done unforgivable things,” Abby reminded her gently. “But I think we can find a way to forgive ourselves. And it might take some time, but they’ll forgive you, too. Most of them do; most of them even understand why you did what you did. But you can be forgiven for all that you did. None of us are perfect. Leaders make hard choices. And you made one of the hardest ones a Leader can ever make.”  
Clarke wiped a tear that she hadn’t realized had fallen from her cheek. “I hope you’re right,” she said. And she sighed. “Well I guess... I guess I’d better go find out.”  
“Go on,” Abby said. “Go see your people.”  
She gave her one last hug, and then she let Clarke go.  
Clarke left the medical ward. Raven had long gone. She had no idea where she was supposed to find Bellamy, where he might be at all.  
Outside the Ark, she found that Harper, Monty, Miller, Octavia and Lincoln were all waiting for her. Raven and Wick, holding hands (Clarke made a mental note to ask Raven about that later), were there, too.  
“I told you idiots she was back,” Octavia said, looking pleased. “They didn’t believe me. Like I would lie about something that big.”  
“Nice to see you too, Octavia,” Clarke said, smiling. The Grounder-turned girl hadn’t changed at all. That was a good thing, she thought.  
“I knew you’d come back,” Monty said, and he was the first to hug her. “I just didn’t think you’d take so freaking long to do it,” he whispered in her ear.  
She laughed. Harper hugged her next, telling her how she was glad that she was back. Then Miller. Then finally, Octavia. Octavia’s hug was the longest, which surprised Clarke. She hadn’t thought Octavia would miss her.  
“Bellamy is going to throw a fit,” said Octavia. “Speaking of my brother, why did you instruct Raven not to tell him you were back?”  
“Because she wants to tell him herself,” Raven chimed in before Clarke could speak. “I told you that, Octavia.”  
“Whatever,” Octavia said, rolling her eyes. “He’s in the armoury—as usual. Go see him.”  
Clarke started walking away, smiling. God she had missed her friends. But she set off to go find Bellamy. Home at last.  
So We Meet Again 

 

Octavia had merely pointed in the direction of the armoury, so it took Clarke a few minutes (and some asking around) before she finally found it. When she did, she took a deep breath, tried to calm her racing heart (but failed), and opened the door.  
And there he was. Bellamy Blake, looking more or less exactly the same as he had the last time she had seen him. He was sharpening one of the knives, and there was an intent but hollow look in his eyes. He was skinner, she noticed. And he’d cut his hair. It no longer hung in his face. But everything else was the same.  
“Bellamy,” she breathed, unable to help it. Oh God. The relief of seeing him again was... she wanted to cry, that’s how relieved she felt.  
He jerked suddenly at the sound of his name, sending the knife flying towards her. She caught it with the toe of her boot and picked it up. He stared at her, his eyes wide and his mouth hanging open.  
“You’re not... You’re not real,” he whispered after a few minutes. “You’re another hallucination, aren’t you? Damn it. This isn’t fair.”  
“Bellamy,” she said again. “It’s me. Really. It’s really me. I swear.”  
He shook his head. “That’s what they all say. The other Clarke’s,” he said. “But you’re not real. You’re just a figment of my imagination.”  
She groaned. “God damn it, Blake,” she said. “I leave for six months and you’ve gone completely nuts. Figures...”  
He stared at her. “Clarke?” He said.  
She wasn’t sure which one of them moved first. But the next thing she knew, he was hugging her and nearly sobbing, and the knife clattered to the ground as she wrapped her arms around his neck. “Bellamy,” she said. “God. Bellamy...”  
“You’re really here,” he choked out. He was holding her so tightly that she was surprised he hadn’t crushed her ribs. “God. You’re... you’re actually back. You’re alive...”  
“I’m really here, Bell,” she whispered. “God I missed you.”  
He set her down then. “I’ve been seeing you everywhere for months,” he said. “God, Clarke... You have no idea what it’s been like here. Every day I have to face these people and they all look at me like they’re wondering what I might do next.”  
“I’m so sorry,” she said. And there were tears running down her cheeks now. “I’m so sorry I left you.”  
“I wanted to go after you so many times,” he said. “So many fucking times I would pack a bag and I would be nearly at the gate, and then I would remember that you didn’t want me to come with you or else you would’ve just asked. And then I started seeing you everywhere and I thought I was going out of my mind. And the nightmares... God, the nightmares, Clarke. The nightmares never stop.”  
“I know,” she said. “I wanted to come back. I missed you so much. Sometimes I would start coming back and then I would make myself stop and turn around. I would talk to myself, like you were there... I missed you so much it hurt to breathe.”  
“Don’t ever leave again,” he said. “At least, not without me.”  
She gave a small laugh. “I’ll never leave again,” she promised. “You’re my home, Bellamy Blake. Wherever you are, I’m going to be.”  
He looked at her. Really looked at her—his eyes meeting hers—and for a heartbeat, they didn’t move or speak and she was barely aware that she was breathing.“That sounds just fine to me, Princess,” he murmured, after a moment.  
It was the use of “princess” that made her lose it. She just burst into tears on the spot, and he looked so alarmed for a minute that he didn’t even move, just stared at her as she bawled her eyes out. Then he wrapped his arms around her, and she didn’t hesitate to cry into his shoulder. Somehow they ended up on the floor, his arms around her as she practically curled into his lap, sobbing uncontrollably.  
When she finally regained control of her emotions, she pulled away, wiping her tears with her shirt sleeve. “Are you okay?” He asked.  
“I’m fine,” she said, feeling embarrassed now. “I... I don’t know what happened. I’m such a mess.”  
“It’s okay,” he said. “Clarke... There’s something I’ve been wanting to tell you. I had made up this whole speech in my head, what I would say when you came back... and I can’t remember a damn word of it now.”  
“Can it wait until we’re somewhere a little more private? It’s just... I feel like everyone can hear us here,” she said. “The door’s wide open and anyone could walk in...”  
“After dinner, meet me at my house,” he said. “I share it with Octavia and Lincoln, but I’ll convince them to go somewhere else for a while.”  
“Okay,” she agreed.  
He got up and helped her off the floor. “I have to finish working here. But I’ll see you later, okay? Don’t go anywhere, princess,” he said.  
“Wouldn’t dream of it, Blake,” she said, and he smiled.  
She left the armoury feeling happier than she had in a long, long time. 

***

 

Raven was the first to find her later. She was wandering around Camp Jaha, watching people do various chores and registering all the changes in her mind, trying not to smile like an idiot (she was, though.)  
“So, did you do it?” Raven asked, walking beside her.  
Clarke frowned. “Did I do what?”  
“Find Bellamy?” Raven asked, as if it was obvious what she was asking. “Why are you smiling like that? It’s creepy.”  
“Sorry,” Clarke said. “And yeah. I did find him. And we’re going to talk more later, but he had to get back to work so...”  
“The Armoury is not a good place to have sex,” said Wick, coming up beside Raven. “I speak from experience.”  
Clarke wrinkled her nose. “Ew,” she said. “I do not need to know that, thanks. And it’s not like that. With Bellamy, I mean. We’re friends. Co-leaders. Nothing else.” She sounded too defensive and she hated it.  
“But you want to be more than that,” Raven said. Clarke opened her mouth to deny it, and Raven shook her head at her. “Oh, come on, Clarke. Everyone thought there was something going on there before you left.”  
“There’s nothing going on,” Clarke repeated. “People need to mind their own business, anyway. God.”  
“But you do want there to be something going on,” said Raven. “I can tell. The two of you just scream sexual tension.”  
“Oh my God!” Clarke exclaimed. “Whether I’m in love with him or not, it’s none of anyone’s business!”  
Raven and Wick exchanged smug glances. “I told you she had a thing for him,” Raven said proudly. Wick rolled his eyes but said nothing.  
“Just drop it,” Clarke said. “Please. I don’t want to talk about this with you.”  
Raven shrugged. “Fine. But just a tip, he’s not bad in bed,” she said. “And he’s a good kisser, too.”  
Clarke was too stunned to react. Wick stared at Raven looking slightly hurt. “When did you sleep with Bellamy?” He asked.  
“A long time ago,” Raven said. “It was nothing. Just a one time thing. Zero chemistry whatsoever. Don’t worry about it, Wick.”  
“Fine,” Wick said, sighing.  
The information had finally sunken in. “You. Slept. With. Bellamy?” Clarke got out. She wasn’t sure where the jealousy had come from, but it was there. For some reason, this time the jealousy she felt regarding Raven was stronger than it had been when Raven had been with Finn. Back then she hadn’t wanted to punch Raven. Now she did, but she stopped herself.  
“Yes. Weren’t you listening? It was nothing,” Raven said. “Please don’t hit me. I swear it was nothing. I needed someone and Bellamy was there. It meant nothing.”  
Well it means something to me, Clarke wanted to say. “I wasn’t going to hit you,” she said slowly. “Sorry. I was just surprised that’s all. It’s no big deal. And like you said, it was a long time ago.”  
“Exactly,” Raven said, looking relieved. “You really have nothing to worry about, Clarke.”  
She sighed. “I know,” she said. “I’m going to see if there’s a place for me to sleep. I’ll catch up with you two later.”  
So she walked away from Raven and Wick. The surge of jealousy had faded, though she still felt it lingering. It was completely ridiculous. She had no reason to be jealous that Raven and Bellamy had slept together. Why should she be jealous? Bellamy had probably slept with lots of girls before. Just because it was Raven, her friend, didn’t mean it was any different. And it was ages ago. Clarke had a feeling she knew exactly when it had happened. Obviously there was nothing between them now, and Raven was with Wick anyway. And she was clearly happy with Wick.  
But maybe it was the fact that Bellamy probably had slept with lots of girls and yet, as far as she knew, had never had a serious relationship, that bothered her. Maybe she was afraid that he would treat her the same, if she was brave enough to tell him how she felt. If they were ever anything more than co-leaders and friends.  
Bellamy wouldn’t do that, the voice in her head whispered. You’re not like the other girls, Clarke. You mean something to him. You know that.  
But what did she mean to him? Did Bellamy consider her family? Was she nothing more than his co-leader and a close friend? How was she supposed to know what she meant to him? And what if she told him how she felt, what if she said the words I’m in love with you, and he didn’t feel the same way?  
It would be heartbreaking. She didn’t think she’d be able to stand it. Not after everything that had happened. To deal with that heartbreak, too... It would be more than one person could bear.  
But perhaps the greatest risk she would ever take was to let the wall around her heart down, the one she had put up after Wells had broken it, had let down so briefly with Finn and then had put it right back up when he, too, betrayed her. Letting the wall down, letting herself be vulnerable, letting herself be open to love again... Maybe Lexa thought that love was weakness. Maybe Clarke had at one point, but not anymore.  
She wouldn’t run anymore. She wouldn’t hide the fact that she was human. Just because you were a leader didn’t mean you had to hide your emotions all the time. She wasn’t a Grounder, and she certainly wasn’t Lexa.  
It would be terrifying to let those walls come crashing down. But it would be a relief, too. She had kept so many things bottled up inside since coming to Earth, but not anymore. No matter what Bellamy said to her, she needed to tell him how she felt. Or she would spend the rest of her life regretting it. Clarke had lost too many people she loved to let herself lose him, too.  
“You’re going to tell him, aren’t you?” It was Octavia. She hadn’t noticed that she had come up beside her, but she was watching her carefully.  
“Tell who what?” Clarke asked.  
Octavia rolled her eyes. “Don’t play dumb with me, Clarke,” she said. “I’ve known you were in love with my brother since you came back here the first time. You know, when you basically attacked him. I suspected it before, but when you hugged him, I knew.”  
“You never said anything,” Clarke said.  
Octavia shrugged. “It wasn’t my business. I’m not a meddler,” she said. “You didn’t see him when you left, Clarke. He won’t admit this to you or anyone, but sometimes, I could hear him crying in his sleep. He never, ever cries. He cried when you left, too.”  
Bellamy Blake didn’t cry. “Why are you telling me this?”  
“I’m telling you because you need to know,” Octavia said. “Bellamy only cries for people he loves.”  
“Are you going to tell me that if I break his heart again, you’ll kill me?” She asked.  
Octavia smiled. “I wouldn’t be a good sister if I didn’t,” she said. “But Clarke? You make him happy. And whatever makes Bellamy happy makes me happy. I guess what I’m trying to say is... I’m glad he’ll have you.”  
It was the closest thing to an approval Clarke was going to get from Octavia. She smiled. “Thank you,” she said. “That means a lot to me.”  
Octavia nodded. She walked away, leaving Clarke alone again. Clarke was still smiling after she left. Maybe her Mom was right. Maybe Clarke would get to be happy again. 

Home 

 

Clarke had spent the last fifteen minutes pouring over the pile of clothes that Raven had left her. She would be staying with Raven and Wick in the house she shared, and Raven had taken the liberty of getting Clarke some clothes. After she’d taken a shower and cleaned up, (feeling more like herself than she had in weeks), Clarke had braided her hair and gone in search for something decent to wear when she saw Bellamy later.  
It was stupid to be obsessing over an outfit, Clarke knew. Bellamy probably didn’t care if she was wearing sweats and an old T-shirt. But Clarke cared, and there was nothing that screamed “I’m dressing up for you because I’m in love with you” in the clothes Raven had given her.  
Clarke plucked out a red T-shirt that looked like it had probably been shrunken in the laundry and would fit tight. She never wore red (it reminded her too much of all the blood she’d seen), but it was the only thing in the clothes that was sort of sexy.  
“Who are you trying to impress?” Raven’s voice said behind her.  
Clarke turned around. Raven was smirking at her. “No one,” she said. “Do you have anything that goes with this?” She held up the red shirt.  
Raven raised her eyebrows. “Just wear it with a pair of dark jeans,” she said. “I don’t think I’ve ever seen you actually pay attention to clothes.”  
“I don’t normally,” Clarke admitted. “But I’ve spent the last six months in pretty much exactly what I left in, so I guess I want something different.”  
“Huh huh,” Raven said. “And you’re also trying to impress Bellamy but you still refuse to say so.”  
“I’m not trying to impress anyone,” Clarke insisted. “Honestly, Raven. Stop pestering me about it.”  
“Stay here,” Raven said.  
She went to the bedroom she shared with Wick, and Clarke sat on the couch. Raven returned a few minutes later carrying something silky. “I’ve never worn this, but one of the seamstresses here made it and no one else would fit it. You can wear this tonight. If you really want to impress Bellamy, jeans and a T-shirt, no matter how tight it is, is just not going to cut it.”  
Clarke stared at the silky black dress Raven held out. It was nothing compared to the dresses that they used to have on the Ark for fancy parties, but it was still better than jeans and a T-shirt. Way, way better. “Thanks,” Clarke said.  
“You’re welcome,” Raven said. “Now get dressed.”  
Clarke laughed as Raven retreated back to her bedroom. She changed into the dress. It felt strange to wear something that wasn’t pants and a T-shirt and jacket, but it was a good kind of strange. The dress fell just above her knees, and had a tiny sleeve that just covered her shoulders. It fit a little loosely—she had lost some weight in the last six months—but otherwise it was perfect. As plain as it was, she was glad Raven had given it to her. It certainly gave the impression she wanted.  
She had no heels to go with it, but she suspected that no one would be looking at her feet. She grinned. Tonight, she was a girl in love. And now she looked like it.

***

 

Dinner came. Her Mom gave a small toast in which she welcomed Clarke back, and they all toasted to her. All of them except Jasper, who sat on his own, as far away from the group as he could. He’d glared at her when he saw her, and as much as it hurt, she knew better than to go over to him. The last thing she wanted was to ruin tonight by starting a fight with Jasper. She would have to confront him sooner or later, but not tonight.  
Bellamy’s reaction when he saw her in the dress was exactly what she’d wanted. He dropped the drink he was holding, glass shattering all over the floor. His eyes went so wide she thought they would pop out of his head, and his jaw dropped. If anything, he looked more surprised to see her in a dress than he had when he first saw her earlier.  
“You clean up nicely, Princess,” he said when he finally made his way over to her. She blushed fiercely. “Never thought I’d live to see you in a dress.”  
“I’m full of surprises,” she said. “You’re not so bad yourself.” It was true. Bellamy was wearing a different T-shirt and the same jeans, but this T-shirt fit him a bit better than the other one. She was trying not to stare at his biceps.  
“If I’d known we were dressing up, I’d have put in a little more effort,” he said.  
She smiled. You put in just enough effort, she thought, but she didn’t say it. “I’ll admit the staring is making me a bit uncomfortable,” she said. The guys, even some of the guards, had had pretty much an identical reaction to Bellamy. They were still staring at her now, and it was starting to bother her. She wasn’t used to being stared at like this.  
“It’s just because they all want to see what’s under the dress,” he said. She thought he sounded a little annoyed about it. “I could punch them if you want. Teach them some manners.”  
“No. You’d end up in confinement and all my effort would be wasted,” she said. And then she realized that she had implied she’d worn the dress for him. Which she had, but she wasn’t planning on telling him that.  
He raised an eyebrow. “What’s that supposed to mean?” He asked.  
“Nothing,” she mumbled, avoiding his eyes. “Nothing.”  
He studied her face. “You were right,” he said finally. “You are full of surprises. What do you say we take off early?”  
I thought you’d never ask, she thought. But all she could manage was a small nod. They didn’t bother telling the others they were leaving. Bellamy led her from the mess hall, and they headed towards the houses. She was only half surprised that his house was only a few houses away from Raven and Wick’s.  
He led her inside. The inside was pretty much identical to Raven’s, but the couch was in a different position and he had a few books and discarded items laying around. “Nice place,” she said. The silence was starting to get to her, and she wanted to fill it.  
“It’s strange... The freedom,” he said, sitting next to her on the couch. “I never thought I’d ever be really free. I mean, I’m still not really. People still don’t completely trust me. But it’s still more freedom then I ever thought I’d get.”  
“Freedom is nice,” she agreed. “But I missed having a home.”  
“Is that why you came back? You were sick of the outdoors?” He asked.  
She hesitated. “Well, that was one of the reasons. But I guess I just felt like I didn’t belong anywhere. And I didn’t want to feel that way anymore,” she said. “It just took me a while to figure out where I wanted to be.”  
“I could have told you that,” he said. “You belong here, Clarke. With us.” The unspoken with me hung between them.  
“I know that now,” she said. “Leaving was selfish. But I needed time. To heal. To figure out where my heart really wanted to be.”  
“And did you figure it out?” He asked. “What your heart wanted?”  
You know the answer to that, she thought. “What I said earlier, in the armoury... About you being my home. I meant that,” she said. Her voice trembled. “I came back for you, Bell. Not because of the others or my Mom. I came back for you.”  
“Clarke...” He began. His voice was barely above a whisper. He was looking at her like he knew what was coming.  
“Don’t. Just let me finish or I’ll never get it out,” she said. His expression made her heart squeeze. But she couldn’t chicken out now. Not this time. She took a deep breath. “The truth, Bellamy, is that I’m tired of waiting. I’m sick of hiding it. I’m in love with you, Bellamy, and I don’t want to pretend that I’m not anymore. I love you. Maybe I always have and I just didn’t know it. But leaving you was the biggest mistake I ever made. I understand if you don’t feel the same, but I wanted to say it. Just once. Because you deserved to know... but I love you, Bellamy and maybe I thought love was weakness once, but god... You are definitely not a weakness. The only time I can be strong is with you.”  
Bellamy exhaled. He closed his eyes, and then opened them again. They were shining with tears. She was surprised; she hadn’t meant to make him cry. “Clarke,” he whispered. “I... I don’t know what... What to say.”  
“Then don’t say anything,” she whispered. “I get it. I knew it was a long-shot that you would feel the same way.”  
She stood up, trying not to let him see that she was crying. “Where are you going?” He said, and he got up, too. He grabbed her arm. “You can’t just drop a bomb like that and leave. Besides, you don’t even know what I was going to say.”  
“I don’t know if I want to hear it,” she said. “But fine. If you’re going to break my heart, do it quickly.”  
“Break... Clarke, no,” he said, shaking his head at her. “Damn it, Princess... I would never break your heart. Why would you think that?”  
She stared at him. “But... You... I couldn’t be that lucky,” she whispered.  
“I love you, too,” he whispered. “I love you. God, words don’t even describe how much I love you. You’re an idiot for thinking... Did you honestly think that I would say, what? ‘Sorry, Princess, but I don’t feel that way?’ God Clarke, you’re an idiot.”  
“Bell...” she breathed.  
She barely blinked, and then he was kissing her. His hands tangled in her hair, and her arms wrapped around his neck, and she was kissing him back like he was the air she needed to breathe. They fell backwards onto the couch. Bellamy’s mouth was hot against hers, and she could taste the tears that had fallen down his cheeks.  
Kissing him was like everything she had dreamed and more. And it felt right. Like their mouths were made for each other.  
And she was home. After months and months of feeling like something was missing from her life, she had found that missing piece, and here she was. Home at last.  
“I love you,” she whispered against his mouth.  
He pulled back from the kiss to look at her. The tears still remained on his cheeks, and she wiped them away gently. “I love you,” he whispered back. “God... It feels so good to say that finally. I can’t believe I’m this lucky.”  
“I never thought I could feel this happy again,” she said. “I never thought I would feel so... complete again.”  
“I never thought I could make anyone happy,” he said quietly. “Especially you. Not after what happened with Finn, and Wells... and Lexa. I thought your heart would be broken for good, that you’d never let me love you. That’s why I didn’t tell you.”  
“I heard this saying once... That every heartbreak brings you closer to your happy ending. Or something like that. I thought it was ridiculous,” she said. “But now I think it was right. Every heartbreak leads you to the person you’re supposed to be with. I didn’t believe in soul mates before I met you, Bellamy, and maybe they don’t exist... But I do believe we belong together. Nothing else has ever felt this right.”  
He smiled. “You’re good with words, Princess,” he said. Then he frowned, like he was thinking about something. “What you said earlier... About this dress... I think I’ve pieced it together now. You wore it for me, didn’t you?”  
“Hmm. Maybe,” she said, winking. “But consider it a one time occasion.”  
He laughed. “You really are full of surprises,” he said.  
And he kissed her again. 

 

SIX MONTHS LATER 

 

Clarke could barely believe that six months had already gone by. They had been a glorious six months. Being with Bellamy was everything she had dreamed of and more. And nothing compared to the feeling of waking up in his arms every morning.  
Octavia and Lincoln (but mostly Octavia) had been so annoyed at being kicked out every week that they had gotten their own house. As far as the others were concerned, Raven and Wick were still going strong. Jasper had forgiven Monty (mostly), though he still refused to talk to Clarke and Bellamy and regarded them both with a cold hatred. Clarke helped her Mom in medical most days, while Bellamy had been granted a position as a lead guard. Clarke had been so happy, so proud, when he’d told her.  
Today was Unity Day, meaning it had been a year (had time really passed so quickly?) since they had come to the ground. She had been surprised when people started planning the celebration, having not realized that much time had passed. It was hard to believe it had been a whole year already. So much had happened. They had suffered so many losses, fought so many battles. But looking around her friends as they drank moonshine and danced and laughed, she felt happy. Happy that they had managed to get this far, that they had even found their own happiness despite the losses. That she was happy, even though she still woke up some days feeling like she didn’t deserve to be happy. But all it took was a kiss or a look from Bellamy to remind her that she did.  
“What are you thinking about?” Bellamy asked. He was standing next to her. Neither of them had touched the moonshine in the cups Monty had handed them. Octavia was dancing with Lincoln. Her mom was dancing with Marcus Kane (surprise, surprise; Clarke had had a feeling, after her first few weeks back, that something was going on there, though her Mom hadn’t outright said anything until Clarke had caught the two of them kissing in medical less than two months later and Abby had finally told Clarke). Everyone was enjoying themselves, except Jasper. He was the only one missing from the crowd. She imagined he was probably getting drunk somewhere.  
“I was thinking... that it’s hard to believe we’ve come so far,” she said. “That we’ve reached this moment, despite the Hell we had to go through to get here. It’s kind of amazing, isn’t it?”  
He smiled down at her, wrapping an arm around her waist and pressing a kiss into her hair. He did that a lot. It was one of the most comforting feelings in the world, to have Bellamy’s arm around her and his lips in her hair. “Yeah, it is,” he said. “We did good, you and I. Despite the hard decision we had to make, we did good. We kept them alive, at least.”  
“We did,” she said. She tipped her glass to his, smiling. “To us. For surviving against the odds. For making it here.”  
“To us,” Bellamy echoed, and they both took a long drink out from their cups. Bellamy’s eyes drifted away from her, towards something behind her. She turned around to see what he was looking at.  
It was Jasper, standing a few feet away from them. His hands were shoved in his pockets, and he looked like he didn’t want to be anywhere near them. But he shuffled over, like he was being pulled by an invisible force. “Jasper,” Clarke greeted, trying to sound cheerful. She was happy but surprised to see him. “How are you?”  
Stupid question, of course. She knew how he was. Grieving. Like they all were, but worse. “I’m as good as I can be, Clarke,” he said. Even his voice sounded empty now. Gone was the cheery boy she had met one year ago. “Look. I came to talk to you. Both of you. Monty told me I should, but I wasn’t ready. I guess... I’m still not ready, but it needs to be said. I hate you for what you did at Mount Weather,”  
“Jasper, we had no choice,” Bellamy said. “It wasn’t what we wanted. But it was the only way. I wish there was something we could have done differently, believe me.”  
“You didn’t let me finish,” Jasper said. “I hate you for what you did. But I understand why you had to. I know you would have found another way if you could have. And maybe that’s why it hurt so much, because I knew it had to be done. And she knew it, too. I think she always knew that she would die.” His voice cracked.  
“I’m so sorry,” Clarke said. She wanted to hug him, to tell him how sorry she was, but she stopped herself. “We never meant to cause you pain.”  
“I know,” he said. “I came over here to tell you that... that I’m going to try to forgive you. It’s not going to be easy, and it will be a long process, but I’m going to try.”  
“That’s all we could ask for,” Bellamy said.  
Jasper nodded. “If you’ll take me back, I’d like to be a part of the group again,” he said. “Maybe not right away, but I want to know I’ll be welcomed back when I decide I’m ready.”  
“Of course,” Clarke said. “Of course you’ll be welcomed back, Jasper. You’re still one of us. Always.”  
“Thank you,” he said. “And um... I don’t know what it’s worth, but I’m glad... I’m glad you’re both happy. It’s proof that we can always be happy again no matter what we lose.”  
Bellamy took Clarke’s hand, squeezing it tightly. “Thank you,” she said.  
Jasper nodded, and he started walking away. Clarke thought she saw the smallest of smiles on his lips, but maybe she had imagined it. They watched him go in silence. When he was gone, Bellamy wrapped his arms around Clarke’s waist and pulled her against him. “I have something to show you,” he whispered. “Come with me.”  
Clarke grinned, and followed Bellamy back to the house they shared. He led her to the bedroom, where she sat on the bed and he rummaged through the dresser until he found whatever it was he wanted to show her.  
It was a book. It was obviously hand-made, but it was beautiful. “Bellamy,” she whispered. “This is amazing.”  
“Open it,” he whispered, sitting down next to her on the bed.  
She flipped open the cover. Inside were the words For my princess. Love Bellamy. She teared up a little, but he told her to keep going. She realized the pages were filled with letters. Letters he had written to her. Some of the letters contained memories. He talked about the first time they met and how he thought she was beautiful even though she was bossy. She smiled at that. They went on and on until she had reached the last page, and she read it carefully.  
Dear Clarke,  
I’ve never told you when I first realized I was falling in love with you, have I? I’m not sure exactly when I started falling for you, but I’m pretty sure it was when you forgave me. Remember, on the day trip? I was going to leave, but you convinced me to come back. You said you needed me. That you forgave me.  
I started to realize then that I was falling for you. I knew you were still grieving for Wells, and I didn’t know what exactly was going on with you and Finn.  
When you came back from Mount Weather, and you hugged me, that was when I knew. When I was absolutely certain that I was in love with you. I thought maybe that was when you started realizing it, too. But then Lexa happened, and I doubted it. And then with everything that happened in Mount Weather, and you left, I wondered if you would ever be able to heal. If you would ever be able to love again.  
Now that I have you, I’m never letting you go. I hope you’re okay with that.  
And I think I fall more in love with you every day we’re together.  
-Bellamy  
Attached to the page was a small silver ring. It was simple, no decoration or diamond, but it was beautiful. Her heart stopped for a moment as she stared at it, and then it started racing, pounding in her chest.  
He lifted the ring from the page. “It’s not an engagement ring,” he told her. “There’s no rush for us to get married. We have lots of time.”  
“Bellamy,” she whispered.  
He put a finger to her lips, quieting her. “Lincoln told me that the grounders have a tradition. They’re called promise rings. And the tradition is that, after you are certain that the person you are with is the one, you give them a ring. It’s a promise that you’ll be together for the rest of your lives, that you are devoting yourself to her. It means commitment.”  
There were tears falling silently down her cheeks. “Bellamy,” she whispered. “It’s beautiful. I love it. Can... can I wear it?”  
He laughed a little. “Of course you can wear it,” he said. “Here.” He slid the ring onto her middle finger—on her right hand, not her left—and kissed her hand.  
“It’s perfect,” she said. “You’re amazing, Bellamy Blake.”  
He grinned. “I try to be, for you,” he said. “Now you know. I’m here to stay. We’ll always be together. No matter what.”  
“No matter what,” she promised. “I love you.”  
“I love you, too, Clarke,” he said. And he kissed her.  
Perhaps love was too simple a word for what Bellamy and Clarke felt for each other. Perhaps there were no words that described exactly what they had. But somethings just are. And so they were. Two pieces of a puzzle that fit perfectly together. Two people who were truly made for each other. 

 

the end


End file.
